Home

"He wondered whether home was a thing that happened to a place after a while, or if it was something that you found in the end, or if you simply walked and waited and willed it long enough."
(from American Gods, by Neil Gaiman).

My old house is up on the market. And this makes me sad.

Finally had a real conversation with B. Cleared things up a little, though I still think she is denying herself a chance at real happiness. But that is her choice. Just as I have made such choices in the past. And maybe she will regret it, and maybe she won't. But I think now I may have something resembling closure. Not quite, but perhaps enough to move on.

For some reason, I pulled out some of the first CDs I ever bought to listen to this evening. House of Love and Moev (rhymes with stove). Perhaps I need to rebuild myself from some point. Go into my past and fast forward to now, so that I can continue unimpeded on this journey in life.

I am incredibly sad and hopeful at the same time. I've felt this before, but never with such strength. One moment, I know exactly what I must do, and the next, I am floundering.

And I must say that the Wente Riesling is quite tasty and goes to the head quickly on a near empty stomach. Yes. And I am almost out of Krupnikas. A shame, that is.