Change Forces

All those articles, talk shows, etcetera that talk about what women want in a man, they all leave out one of the most important parts. Sure, you can be sensitive, fatherly, confident, a good listener, and emotionally open; but when you get into a new relationship, you need to figure out if that is what is expected of you. Does she want someone completely different, or does she want to try taking the same guy she's been dating for years and be the one to change him into that ideal man? I mean, look at the bragging rights amongst her friends: "He was okay when I met him, but look at him now. See how much he loves me, see how much I have gotten him to change?" This notion of men as fixers may reflect reality in a physical sense, but in the mental realm it is the women who want to do the fixing. Show up as a polished gem instead of rough quartz, and what she'll see in the reflection is how little work there is to be done, how little she can take credit for. So even if you have those much lauded qualities, they have to be hidden, at least for a while.
Yes, I'm bitter, and this all sounds like absolute shite. I shouldn't base a thesis on one awful experience. But what is a guy to do? You work so hard to reach this popular ideal only to have it thrown back in your face. Give your heart to someone only to see it put in a jar of formaldehyde, placed on the kitchen counter, and be told "Okay, I'm done with you now."

I was stubborn for a long time, and resistant to change. The women in my life have been trying to change me into this person for a long time; it's a bad trade, really, as others have done all the hard work and now someone else will get the benefit of that. I suppose that is how it usually works, though.