Some days I have to force productivity by becoming obsessive. There will be just one scratch too many of the porcelain sink, for instance, and I'll practically run to get the Comet cleanser and start cleaning the whole thing. And then wipe down all the counters. And notice that the floor should be washed. And so on. Until I just as quickly get bored of the whole business.
Under certain circumstances, such behavior scares people. Or just weirds them out. And I have a hard time reconciling that.
I don't have many talents. I can't serenade anyone, but I can clean stuff. Or paint. Or fix the computer. Or make a CD. That's about it, really. Oh, I can help move stuff, too. I try hard to be useful because otherwise I don't know what I have to offer the world.
And therein lies my biggest fear. That I could disappear and nobody would notice.
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