Vows

The J & J wedding reception was fun. A few highlights: The chocolate fountain, the cat sanctuary favors, the little kid doing the crazy legs dance, decent 80's music selections, the high, curved ceilings in the converted railway station, Mike's walking into a tree story, scaring A & J with my rants and visions of kangaroos, Chris and Frank seeming to always have a drink in each hand, the very good dinner, the generally short lines at the bar, and the simple fact of being around people who helped me get through the evening without being despondent.
Yesterday I visited with the niece some more and later went and played poker, where I got crappy cards all night before a desperation move knocked me out. Desperation moves, drama; my life needs less of such things, yes? Just a touch of stability would be nice. Somehow, though, I think the storm has a few more lightning strikes left in it before I can finally calm down.

Unreception

Going to the J & J wedding reception soon. B was supposed to go with me. So today has been difficult.
But hopefully this means that tomorrow will be better.

As of now

Friday night: housewarming for N & C. They have a nice place off of Dearborn and Division; a little cramped but hey, it's all about location. Sat with John H and did free associative rambling for a while. Which tends to make the audience think I've been drinking. But hey, I was, so I guess that made sense. On the way home, riding with T & S, almost got t-boned by some ass who ran the light. So I was all tense and B flashed into my mind, which was kind of annoying. Need to get that girl out of my head.
Saturday, saw the niece, who will most definitely grow up to be the prettiest one in the family. Later, out with the J & K crowd, up to the Lincoln Tap Room. Consumed a few cider, to add to the vodka, beer, and wine already coursing through my system. And with a wedding reception to attend tomorrow night, I think I'll need all of Monday to sober up.
Sometimes, I think of B and wonder, was anything really my fault, or is she just being a fool?

The Party's Crashing Us Now

More Of Montreal:

You’re such a mystery I just want to stand and stare
Nibble on your ear and smell the ocean in your hair
You know you damage me you leave me tangled in a knot
But when you reappear I see Neptunian blues that eyes forgot
Neptunian blues that eyes forgot

I only feel alive when the vu’s flashing alarms going off in my head
I want to grab you and just kiss you maybe I should sit down
No sense in cashing us now
Still I only feel alright when the vu’s flashing bombs going off in my head
I want to grab you want to scream at you no icing me down
The party’s crashing us now
The party’s crashing us now

... You freed me from the past...

Krupnikas

Krupnikas. Moonshine of the gods. Having a double shot before bed in a mostly vain attempt to calm myself.
Going on a field trip to Great America tomorrow. Hopefully we don't get rained on too badly.
I try to always do the right thing, but sometimes it just doesn't work.

Saving me from myself

George Lucas should do silent movies. The opening ten minutes of Sith, with the physical comedy of R2D2 setting up a tone unmatched throughout the rest of this sci-fi dramedy, reminds me of a weird mix of Charlie Chaplin and Jackie Chan.
Too much has been written about Ep. III already, so that's all I'll comment on.
My Dad joked that when they took me to see the first one, I was 4 years old; by the time we got through the line and actually saw it I was 6.
Anyway, T & S were psychic enough to rescue me from an emotional tailspin last nite with their spur of the moment suggestion to go see the movie. If nothing else, it was a good diversion.

Weather With You

What is it that keeps us trapped in bad habits and routines? Is it simply the fear of moving outside our comfort zone? Sometimes I wish that some sort of cosmic machinery was in place to force change on me every day. Because I'm not strong enough to do it myself. I need people I trust to ask me to change, so that I know I won't feel too much like a fool when I fail.
Thinking about B, about how perhaps it is easier to be with someone who makes no demands of you. As if that were the perfect state of things in a relationship. I'm wondering if I was asking her to change too much. I didn't think that I was.
This post has no point, I guess. Just trying to work out some notions in my head. It is early yet, and it seems like it will be a nice, if cloudy, day.
I was supposed to go to the lakefront for the autism walk this morning, with B, on account of her cousin. It's a nice day for such an event. Warm enough, yet breezy; good walking weather.
I'm worried about a lot of people right now, but don't know how to tell them, don't know how to help.

Bring out the Gimp

Back from the John and Becky Fuller housewarming. Mostly the J & K crowd there, etcetera. Interesting old house; nice place. The highlight is an odd little basement room unto itself. About 4 x 10 feet, with a 6 foot ceiling; stone walls, and a flimsy door with the name "Nicole" written on it. Former child resident's playroom, or time-out space? Possible future wine cellar or Gimp haven? Oh, the possibilities. The important thing is that people are looking out for my sanity, and that's nice.