If you go to church every Sunday does that make you a better person? Maybe organized religions should work harder to realize that the house of god is the heart, not the church. That any moment we spend doing the right thing is in fact the best preaching that anyone can do. People learn by example; if you show a child how to hurt, it makes the child more capable of hurting. If you teach them the arts of argument, deceit, or even something as benign as sarcasm, then they will understand how to use those arts themselves. Religion should focus more on being at peace with the self; we are most at peace when we know we have been faithful to our ideals, our best intentions, our word. We may do wrong, we may be chastised, but those who are lost and broken are the ones who have no grounds on which to chastise themselves, for they have lost sight of what they believe in, of the good that they are capable of.

I don't go to church. I work, and live, and try to be helpful, and useful, and dependable. I make mistakes, all the time, and sometimes I dwell on them...because I'm still learning that forgiveness starts with me, and that nobody else is really responsible for forgiving me except myself; not even god. When people ask for god's forgiveness, perhaps what they really want is the strength to forgive themselves, and put their mistakes behind them, and move on. I'm afraid, sometimes, when I look around, and see a culture that preaches forgiveness, but shows much more interest in blame. Why is it so bad to take responsibility for your actions, learn from them, and move on? When will we recognize the courage it takes to do that in this world, and start teaching our children that the true heroes and role models are the people who aren't afraid to admit that they were wrong?

Going to church doesn't make you a better person. You are a better person simply by making the choice to be better, and working at it every day. Many religions provide perfectly good instructions on how to be a better person, but you still have to work at it, and do it in the way that makes the most sense to you. Maybe that's why I never had much use for weekly visits to church; I don't need to be preached to or forgiven, not when I know the difference between right and wrong and reserve the privilege of my own forgiveness.