99 cents off!? How generous Amazon; now I have to get one!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
breakfast of champions
Yes, I know that updates have been sparse. I have been spending all my free time trying to create my own version of the McGriddle sandwich. Mine has Canadian bacon, though, so I don't think I am infringing on corporate copyright too much. Soon, I will have a McGriddle party.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Cold, colder, coldest
Random recent:
Took a day off to go to the nature museum with my niece. She liked the water exhibit. And climbing stuff. Didn't care too much for the butterflies.
She wanted to see the gorillas at Lincoln Park zoo. But it's dark in there. Unacceptable! Luckily there were some outside. And a very nice carousel, which she had pretty much all to herself.
The avocado green fridge finally died. As opposed to humans, when a fridge dies it gets warm. It has been replaced by a tall, white, and non-descript model.
No, I had no urge to paint the new one the same shade of green.
Selling the condo. This requires packing. And purging. Still, I know I will end up moving things I do not need. I have no yard or garage...maybe I should have a living room sale?
Took a day off to go to the nature museum with my niece. She liked the water exhibit. And climbing stuff. Didn't care too much for the butterflies.
She wanted to see the gorillas at Lincoln Park zoo. But it's dark in there. Unacceptable! Luckily there were some outside. And a very nice carousel, which she had pretty much all to herself.
The avocado green fridge finally died. As opposed to humans, when a fridge dies it gets warm. It has been replaced by a tall, white, and non-descript model.
No, I had no urge to paint the new one the same shade of green.
Selling the condo. This requires packing. And purging. Still, I know I will end up moving things I do not need. I have no yard or garage...maybe I should have a living room sale?
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Animals that are now extinct
- The mischievous wildflower dragon.
- The pink bears of Florida.
- The dodo bird's evolutionary cousin, the coco bird, hunted to extinction for its' chocolately goodness.
- The Escher salamander.
- The common gym rat, which had no natural resistance to steroids.
- The receding hairline eagle.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
baby squirrels - wikipedia draft entry
Two little baby squirrels emerged from their tails today.
They immediately started plotting.
What dogs to terrorize.
Which children's legs to run up.
How to overthrow the Mexican government.
Baby squirrels love long walks thru the trees, pink elephants, and flan.
They also like advanced calculus.
The natural habitat of the baby squirrel is in the blind spot of your eye.
You can only see them by looking sideways while practicing controlled breathing.
Did I mention that baby squirrel tails are quite long? They are. Kitten ears are a good comparison.
Baby squirrels will sneak into your house at night and steal your hair in order to build nests. They prefer brunettes.
The diet of a baby squirrel consists of cheese (all kinds, especially swiss), potato pancakes, and have I mentioned that they like flan?
They are quite adept at the use of Swiss army knives and can construct MacGyveresque bombs and other such devices at will.
Do not fear the baby squirrel. Instead, accept that they will do you no harm so long as you give in completely to their demands.
Lastly, be aware that the baby squirrel will use their little paws to utterly destroy the heathen, false idol lawn gnome.
They immediately started plotting.
What dogs to terrorize.
Which children's legs to run up.
How to overthrow the Mexican government.
Baby squirrels love long walks thru the trees, pink elephants, and flan.
They also like advanced calculus.
The natural habitat of the baby squirrel is in the blind spot of your eye.
You can only see them by looking sideways while practicing controlled breathing.
Did I mention that baby squirrel tails are quite long? They are. Kitten ears are a good comparison.
Baby squirrels will sneak into your house at night and steal your hair in order to build nests. They prefer brunettes.
The diet of a baby squirrel consists of cheese (all kinds, especially swiss), potato pancakes, and have I mentioned that they like flan?
They are quite adept at the use of Swiss army knives and can construct MacGyveresque bombs and other such devices at will.
Do not fear the baby squirrel. Instead, accept that they will do you no harm so long as you give in completely to their demands.
Lastly, be aware that the baby squirrel will use their little paws to utterly destroy the heathen, false idol lawn gnome.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
where's my punchline?
"How are your trees, Grandpa?"
"I've been getting a lot of fruit this year."
One of the coolest things about my Grandpa's place in Florida is all the variety of fruit trees in the immediate vicinity. Happy belated 78th birthday, Grandpa!
My friend John describes a recent evening:
"So we walked to the lake shore, to the breakers off of the beach, and the moon was huge and red and we were sitting there and it was the perfect romantic night. Until we saw a big rat coming down the breaker toward us. What the hell is a rat doing there anyway? So yeah, the moment was kinda ruined."
"My daughter calls me. 'Dad, I need some poster board.' How long have you needed this? 'Well, I thought I had a piece, and I thought my sister had a piece, but she didn't, and the only poster board we have is messed up...' Yeah, but how long have you known that you need it? 'A week.' And when do you need it for? 'Tomorrow.' Of course. So now I'm sitting in the Wal-mart parking lot, with zero cash, and I can't remember the PIN number of my debit card."
From a conversation with my uncle Lee. Who also related the demise of my old car, a '94 Geo Prizm, which clocked in at 188,000 miles before imploding.
Meanwhile, the jinx is in, and B and I are on indefinite hiatus. Who didn't see that coming?
"I've been getting a lot of fruit this year."
One of the coolest things about my Grandpa's place in Florida is all the variety of fruit trees in the immediate vicinity. Happy belated 78th birthday, Grandpa!
My friend John describes a recent evening:
"So we walked to the lake shore, to the breakers off of the beach, and the moon was huge and red and we were sitting there and it was the perfect romantic night. Until we saw a big rat coming down the breaker toward us. What the hell is a rat doing there anyway? So yeah, the moment was kinda ruined."
"My daughter calls me. 'Dad, I need some poster board.' How long have you needed this? 'Well, I thought I had a piece, and I thought my sister had a piece, but she didn't, and the only poster board we have is messed up...' Yeah, but how long have you known that you need it? 'A week.' And when do you need it for? 'Tomorrow.' Of course. So now I'm sitting in the Wal-mart parking lot, with zero cash, and I can't remember the PIN number of my debit card."
From a conversation with my uncle Lee. Who also related the demise of my old car, a '94 Geo Prizm, which clocked in at 188,000 miles before imploding.
Meanwhile, the jinx is in, and B and I are on indefinite hiatus. Who didn't see that coming?
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