Happy birthday, Michele. The spider plant is still alive. Happy birthday, C. My reality is still fiction.
Amongst the J & K group, 3 major separations in as many weeks of long-time couples. Is there something in the air? Or do statistics catch up with us all at once?
Movie 1: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - A whimsical, well crafted remake; worth seeing. In hindsight, the previews for this movie were awful; whoever edited them should be buried alive under gobstoppers.
Movie 2: Le Cercle Rouge - 70's French sort-of gangster-noir flick; the bad guys suffer for their trespasses but we get a nice lesson in metallurgy along the way. Artsy, interesting.
Movie 3: Blue - First in the 3 colours triad; I'll probably mention this again once I see the other two (go, Netflix, go). When you lose it all, it's a thin line between giving up, hiding out, and rebuilding. In a sense, a testament to the power of music to keep us from slipping away into the darkness.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Saturday, August 27, 2005
flightplan
Okay, is it just me, or do the promo posters for the new Jodie Foster pic Flightplan make her look like she's about 14 years old? (Considering she is 42 at the moment, this is either impressive or creepy.)
Peering 'round corners
Dear Sarah Shu - John Vanderslice (2005)
dear sarah shu,
I leave for you
all I knew about this job
on microcassette for further review
what it meant to me
how you’ll make it dear, hopefully
it’s dangerous here
yes it’s dangerous here
peer round corners with dental mirrors,
heed the threats, taking cautionary measures,
in the end, it is love
you’ll have to learn to survive
dear sarah shu,
I leave for you
all I knew about this job
on palmcorder for future review
your office will flood every night,
it’s water, don’t try to fight it
suspend all your files using
my system of hanging wires
break apart what I connected
show what I only suggested
’cause in the end it was love
I had to learn to survive
picture me by the window sill
wrapped in copper wire, my autumn sleeves,
with torn up directives
spread round the floor like shoreham leaves
picture me locking office door, now
kneeling down on the floor,
screaming: “protection,
I can make it, I can make it!”
peer round corners with dental mirrors,
heed the threats, taking cautionary measures,
but in the end, it is love
you’ll have to learn to survive
so long, sarah shu,
farewell to you,
stay calm, stay sweet,
regards from the other side of the teeth
break apart what I connected
show what I only suggested
’cause in the end it was love
we had to learn to survive
dear sarah shu,
I leave for you
all I knew about this job
on microcassette for further review
what it meant to me
how you’ll make it dear, hopefully
it’s dangerous here
yes it’s dangerous here
peer round corners with dental mirrors,
heed the threats, taking cautionary measures,
in the end, it is love
you’ll have to learn to survive
dear sarah shu,
I leave for you
all I knew about this job
on palmcorder for future review
your office will flood every night,
it’s water, don’t try to fight it
suspend all your files using
my system of hanging wires
break apart what I connected
show what I only suggested
’cause in the end it was love
I had to learn to survive
picture me by the window sill
wrapped in copper wire, my autumn sleeves,
with torn up directives
spread round the floor like shoreham leaves
picture me locking office door, now
kneeling down on the floor,
screaming: “protection,
I can make it, I can make it!”
peer round corners with dental mirrors,
heed the threats, taking cautionary measures,
but in the end, it is love
you’ll have to learn to survive
so long, sarah shu,
farewell to you,
stay calm, stay sweet,
regards from the other side of the teeth
break apart what I connected
show what I only suggested
’cause in the end it was love
we had to learn to survive
Thursday, August 25, 2005
theology footnote
If there is a heaven, an afterlife, some sort of otherness after this physical plane, I'm putting in my request now to be returned to this dimension as a guardian angel.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
!vOrTeX! 08.05
August came, and almost went, and out of the shadows crept a new compilation of music to be shared amongst the friends of the troubled and perhaps psychologically unstable proprietor of the nightmarevortex. And in the wake of such news, cows around the world wept; the river of cow tears coupled with the methane they produce in such staggering quantities created a potential liquid fireball destined to destroy the planet. But such a fate was avoided; alas, the solution came in the form of a large meteor of ice that pierced the planet, severing it into two halves that would forever drift apart.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
"Close"
Telepopmusik (2005)
I don’t put a smile upon your face no more
I can’t make your heart shine like it did before
You don’t listen to my stories anymore
You can’t comfort me the way you did before
Was I too loud, was I too bad
Was I too open
Was I too high, was I too fast
Was I too close
I don’t feel your lips like the first kiss
I’d rather run away than sit to face the truth
Was I too proud, was I too hopeful
Was I too needing
Was I too crazy, was I too long
Was I too giving
No matter how far, no matter how long
I will be there
I don’t put a smile upon your face no more
I can’t make your heart shine like it did before
You don’t listen to my stories anymore
You can’t comfort me the way you did before
Was I too loud, was I too bad
Was I too open
Was I too high, was I too fast
Was I too close
I don’t feel your lips like the first kiss
I’d rather run away than sit to face the truth
Was I too proud, was I too hopeful
Was I too needing
Was I too crazy, was I too long
Was I too giving
No matter how far, no matter how long
I will be there
Sunday, August 14, 2005
miles to go before i sleep
Notes on helping my sister move from Fort Collins to Green Bay...
Wednesday: Flew out to Denver on ATA. Easy flight. When we landed, there was a rainbow past the eastern edge of the airport, which I could see from one end to the other. I took that as a good omen for the days ahead.
Found Michele and headed back to Fort Collins. Her place was mostly packed up, so we went out to Beau Jo's, the only good pizza place in town. Honey garlic cheese bread appetizer! Yum.
Michele was a little worried about leaving behind all of her wonderful Colorado breweries (New Belgium especially), so I had to convince her that she will still be able to find good beer in Wisconsin.
Eventually joined by her friend C; after dinner hit the Rio for one of their famous margaritas. Then off to a favorite dive bar (where a cool pint glass was liberated as a souvenir) for a little while (the jukebox was frightening; why must Jimmy Buffett exist?) then back home to sleep.
Next day, Michele's car having been loaded full of plants (a rolling greenhouse) up onto the trailer it went. Finished packing up the truck and hit the road.
Soon, Nebraska. And more Nebraska. Tra la la, Nebraska. Not enough cars on the road to play silly license plate games, Nebraska. 37th state admitted into the union, Nebraska. Arbor day began in Nebraska, which is simply astonishing, considering that there seem to be so few trees, at least along route 80, and yes, we are still, still, persistently in, wait, we are almost passing near Lincoln, originally Lancaster, almost done, and what else can I say about: Nebraska. (Good luck with this one, Sufjan Stevens).
Eventually we hit the Days Inn near Des Moines. Ah, sleep.
Early start for Friday. By the time we hit Green Bay around 3:00 p.m., the truck will have burned through about $350 worth of gas.
3 hours later, the truck is unloaded, the tow hitch is reattached to the truck (after a bit of struggling and cursing), the greenhouse has been emptied out, and the fish that rode in the truck cab the whole way is now on more solid ground (so to speak). Michele and I bickered a lot more than I would have expected, but she's stressed out over the whole ordeal and I'm just tired.
Green Bay is, in fact, very green. In the spots where it is not an industrialized slab, anyway.
Saturday, the apartment starts looking less like a collection of boxes and more like an actual home. We head out in search of some decent coffee (I am going through caffeine withdrawl and wake up with an awful headache. Michele explains the physiological effects, something to do with arterial constriction, but I don't remember her explanation very well because my head was pounding and there was no aspirin at hand). We drive from one end of the city to the other in about 20 minutes, stopping at a drive thru Starbucks (ugh) and spotting a promising brew-pub during the excursion; by the time we get back to her place Mom and Dad are sitting there waiting for us. More unpacking and setting up, and eventually we hit the aforementioned Titletown Brewing Company for lunch. Eventually, back in the car and headed home; it has been a long few days.
Wednesday: Flew out to Denver on ATA. Easy flight. When we landed, there was a rainbow past the eastern edge of the airport, which I could see from one end to the other. I took that as a good omen for the days ahead.
Found Michele and headed back to Fort Collins. Her place was mostly packed up, so we went out to Beau Jo's, the only good pizza place in town. Honey garlic cheese bread appetizer! Yum.
Michele was a little worried about leaving behind all of her wonderful Colorado breweries (New Belgium especially), so I had to convince her that she will still be able to find good beer in Wisconsin.
Eventually joined by her friend C; after dinner hit the Rio for one of their famous margaritas. Then off to a favorite dive bar (where a cool pint glass was liberated as a souvenir) for a little while (the jukebox was frightening; why must Jimmy Buffett exist?) then back home to sleep.
Next day, Michele's car having been loaded full of plants (a rolling greenhouse) up onto the trailer it went. Finished packing up the truck and hit the road.
Soon, Nebraska. And more Nebraska. Tra la la, Nebraska. Not enough cars on the road to play silly license plate games, Nebraska. 37th state admitted into the union, Nebraska. Arbor day began in Nebraska, which is simply astonishing, considering that there seem to be so few trees, at least along route 80, and yes, we are still, still, persistently in, wait, we are almost passing near Lincoln, originally Lancaster, almost done, and what else can I say about: Nebraska. (Good luck with this one, Sufjan Stevens).
Eventually we hit the Days Inn near Des Moines. Ah, sleep.
Early start for Friday. By the time we hit Green Bay around 3:00 p.m., the truck will have burned through about $350 worth of gas.
3 hours later, the truck is unloaded, the tow hitch is reattached to the truck (after a bit of struggling and cursing), the greenhouse has been emptied out, and the fish that rode in the truck cab the whole way is now on more solid ground (so to speak). Michele and I bickered a lot more than I would have expected, but she's stressed out over the whole ordeal and I'm just tired.
Green Bay is, in fact, very green. In the spots where it is not an industrialized slab, anyway.
Saturday, the apartment starts looking less like a collection of boxes and more like an actual home. We head out in search of some decent coffee (I am going through caffeine withdrawl and wake up with an awful headache. Michele explains the physiological effects, something to do with arterial constriction, but I don't remember her explanation very well because my head was pounding and there was no aspirin at hand). We drive from one end of the city to the other in about 20 minutes, stopping at a drive thru Starbucks (ugh) and spotting a promising brew-pub during the excursion; by the time we get back to her place Mom and Dad are sitting there waiting for us. More unpacking and setting up, and eventually we hit the aforementioned Titletown Brewing Company for lunch. Eventually, back in the car and headed home; it has been a long few days.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Hyperbowl
Went to Gameworks at Woodfield last night.
They have this bowling game. You spin a bowling ball while navigating it on the screen through various types of lanes. We played a San Francisco theme, with hills and trolley cars and bums adding to the difficulty (okay, there weren't any bums, but why not?) Anyway, my hands are absolutely wrecked from that game; I think I now know what arthritis will feel like, and if this is it I'm surprised that people who suffer intensely from that condition don't simply cut their hands off.
They have this bowling game. You spin a bowling ball while navigating it on the screen through various types of lanes. We played a San Francisco theme, with hills and trolley cars and bums adding to the difficulty (okay, there weren't any bums, but why not?) Anyway, my hands are absolutely wrecked from that game; I think I now know what arthritis will feel like, and if this is it I'm surprised that people who suffer intensely from that condition don't simply cut their hands off.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Review: American Splendor
American Splendor (2003)
Paul Giamatti is one of the best character actors of the moment. He takes his lack of grace and classic good looks in stride, adapting to each role through sheer force of will. Tony Shalhoub is a bit like that, too. Anyway, American Splendor is the story of Harvey Pekar: depressive, manic, and autobiographically dizzying. Pekar narrates and occasionally appears in his own story, spliced with the occasional bit of animation done in the shifting style of his inconsistently illustrated comic books/graphic novels. The movie jumps around a bit, and has a few throwaway moments and narrative dead ends, but anyone who agrees with the notion that artists tend to suffer for their craft may appreciate the inverse relationship presented here: some artists' suffering is their craft. Well acted and worth seeing.
Rating: flush.
Paul Giamatti is one of the best character actors of the moment. He takes his lack of grace and classic good looks in stride, adapting to each role through sheer force of will. Tony Shalhoub is a bit like that, too. Anyway, American Splendor is the story of Harvey Pekar: depressive, manic, and autobiographically dizzying. Pekar narrates and occasionally appears in his own story, spliced with the occasional bit of animation done in the shifting style of his inconsistently illustrated comic books/graphic novels. The movie jumps around a bit, and has a few throwaway moments and narrative dead ends, but anyone who agrees with the notion that artists tend to suffer for their craft may appreciate the inverse relationship presented here: some artists' suffering is their craft. Well acted and worth seeing.
Rating: flush.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
on moving and moving on
This time a week from now I'll be in the air, a window seat to Fort Collins by way of Denver, to help my sister move.
The process will involve a large truck and an even larger expanse of nothingness along Rte. 80.
Thus continues a tradition of helping people move. Seems like I do that a lot. I'm useful for the heavy lifting in life, but for the day to day routines I'm more of an annoyance.
I had a conversation with someone the other day about work, and my time off this summer, and it contained this small revelation: I am always trying to save people, always trying to be helpful to the point where I leave myself no time to work on what I need to fix for myself. It's a disastrous pattern. When the situation doesn't call for me to do something useful, I don't know what to do. It's as if I had no purpose outside of the present need, and once the problem has been resolved, I cease to exist.
It's a mixed blessing type of trait. On the one hand, I can be very dependable, very useful, but on the other hand, in the interim I am a bit boring and generally uncomfortable with my surroundings.
I have no idea how I got this way.
Maybe it goes back all the way to junior high school, when the dumb but popular kids depended on me to save them during group projects or to pass along last night's homework to copy, and I would do it to stay in their good graces and somehow be included.
That seems kind of silly, though. I guess I just don't know.
I hope the truck has a CD player. I'm not anticipating a lot of good radio stations between Fort Collins and Green Bay.
The process will involve a large truck and an even larger expanse of nothingness along Rte. 80.
Thus continues a tradition of helping people move. Seems like I do that a lot. I'm useful for the heavy lifting in life, but for the day to day routines I'm more of an annoyance.
I had a conversation with someone the other day about work, and my time off this summer, and it contained this small revelation: I am always trying to save people, always trying to be helpful to the point where I leave myself no time to work on what I need to fix for myself. It's a disastrous pattern. When the situation doesn't call for me to do something useful, I don't know what to do. It's as if I had no purpose outside of the present need, and once the problem has been resolved, I cease to exist.
It's a mixed blessing type of trait. On the one hand, I can be very dependable, very useful, but on the other hand, in the interim I am a bit boring and generally uncomfortable with my surroundings.
I have no idea how I got this way.
Maybe it goes back all the way to junior high school, when the dumb but popular kids depended on me to save them during group projects or to pass along last night's homework to copy, and I would do it to stay in their good graces and somehow be included.
That seems kind of silly, though. I guess I just don't know.
I hope the truck has a CD player. I'm not anticipating a lot of good radio stations between Fort Collins and Green Bay.
all of those yesterdays
Drown, by Smashing Pumpkins
No matter where you are
I can still hear you when you drown
You've traveled very far
Just to see you I'll come around
When I'm down
All of those yesterdays
Coming around
No matter where you are
I can still hear you when you dream
You traveled very far
You traveled far, like a star
And you are
All of those yesterdays
Coming around
Is it something someone said?
Was it something someone said?
Yesterday the sky was you
And I still feel the same
Nothing left for me to do
And I still feel the same
I wish, I wish I could fly
I wish, I wish I could lie
I will, I will try
I will, I will
Goodbye
Monday, August 01, 2005
exhibitionism
The beauty of the online personals sites isn't the ease with which one can find a date. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's the extent to which they steel you to the concept of rejection. You go to the trouble of trying to describe yourself within the categories and word limits offered, put up a picture or two that may or may not be flattering, and then wait for your reality check. Because what you think you want, what you think you deserve, is an illusion in this virtual dating world. And yes, I know people for whom this whole concept has worked, and I am happy for them. I don't put a lot of faith in it, though, ironic perhaps given my dependence on technology in general.
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