Had an all night hang-out session this weekend; haven't done that in a while. Is that a sign of getting old? Or is the fact that half the evening was spent playing party games the sign? :) Nah, I know, old is just how you feel, not strictly your age. Some days I think I don't think my body is convinced of that, though. It won't buy into my mind's delusions about aging. Ah, well.

Got my damaged car back today. Nice newly painted bumper; now I get to obsess over when it will get scratched up again when I park in the city. Ah, the friendly game of bump-and-park. Oh, well.

Ugh. So insanely swamped at work today. Thank goodness for little victories; otherwise I'd leap through the second floor window...not high enough to kill me, most likely, but I'd probably break something and have to stay home and recuperate for a while...forced vacation. Then again, could my ego sustain time alone like that? How much could I feed off of sympathy? I do that, now, and can't stand it when I do; I expect my shadow to run away, in denial. I wonder if I make any sense anymore? I'll speak, and the words will make sense to me, but do people hear them anywhere near the same way I think they hear them? Or is that just everyday, run of the mill, insert cliche here self-doubt? Hmmm.

It's windy and warm and cool at the same time; the clouds keep creeping up and sliding away again; rain flashes off and on--a lovely day indeed. Weather can be like emotion, like mood swings; there is no prozac for nature, though.

Jeff whooped me at racquetball again. Good workout, though, so I don't care too much. I'll beat him eventually. It has turned into one of those days when I wish I could drag this beast of a PC outside onto the deck. When will wireless be practical? Faster, more reliable, more true to the definition. Soon, I hope. So...what is there to do in Phoenix?

Invitations. Why do we put so much worry into whether we are invited to things? Is there no other measure of acceptance, of belonging, aside from simply being included? Does not being invited signal some sort of dividing line in a relationship? Is there anything innocuous about it? I have no answer here; just thinking out loud.

On the radio yesterday, they were talking about how the impending writers strike in Hollywood may leave us with nothing to watch but "reality" shows. And maybe "Friends". So now is my big chance to be a "scab" writer for TV. Would anyone notice the difference?

The warm weather starts to creep back into the Midwest. I hope the little cold snap didn't kill off the flowers or stunt the budding of the trees. You have to be impressed by the power of nature to regenerate, though. I have this one nightmare where the seasons get screwed up, and the trees are bare all summer long. And people get depressed from the lack of green, and the suicide rate goes up, and the air quality slips from the lack of cleansing done to the air by the trees. Every day is an ozone action day; people are asked to not drive, but they do, because they just want to get away from the sad-looking trees; get somewhere else. Children climb the trees and and cover them with green paper, trying to make them look right. Out of frustration, a man starts running around with a chainsaw in his neighborhood, hacking at the trees and anything else that gets in his way. He dies when he miscalculates and one of the attacked trees collapses on top of him.

Well, haven't I just been lousy at this lately.

What's bugging me today? Hmmm. Funny that a guy named Bush is so intent on selling off the environment. My god, if he lasts 8 years, there won't be anything green left to save, except for the cash lining his pockets. And he'll make sure the students in this country are too dumb to realize how badly the nation is screwed up. I see his evil plan; make us stupid, make us a nation of cows to be herded in cattle rancher style, mooing, mooing, as we are slaughtered in our own backyards.